Attack of the Fans!
by Tifa Gainsborough
Summary: Exactly what the title says. Tifa and Cloud have a run in with some obsessive fans. Pure wacky-ness. Took me a whole 10 minutes to write. Please Review!!!! Thanks!


Tifa Lockhart walked quietly through the streets of Midgar taking in all the sights of the large city. It had been nearly   
two months since meteors attack on the planet. It was strange looking up into the sky and not seeing meteor looming   
over them. As she gazed up at the sky minus the large plate, ah the joys of plot holes, something latched onto her waist   
and dragged her off into the shadows. Oh that's it she thought.  
  
"Beat…."  
  
"Tifa," Cloud Strife's shaky voice halted her limit break.  
  
"Cloud," Tifa asked.   
  
Cloud stepped into the light, yes people light in the shadows. His face was pale and his normal spiky hair hung limply.   
"You gotta help me!" He grabbed her shoulders and shook her.   
  
"Help you with what?"  
  
"CLOUD!!!" The shriek could be heard at the other side of Midgar. It was followed by other similarly high-pitched shrieks.   
Cloud cowered behind Tifa whispering a pray to the heavens.   
  
"Are you afraid of them," Tifa asked pointing to a large group of 10-15 year old girls. Each one wore a shirt that read   
'Cloud! The Ultimate Bishonen!' The group heard Tifa's comment and turned to her. Each head turned at the same time   
giving it an eerie affect.   
  
"Cloud!" They began to migrate in Tifa's general direction spotting one of Cloud's spikes sticking out from behind Tifa's back.   
  
"Run!"   
  
Tifa and Cloud bolted from the shadows running down the street. They raced down through the city trying desperately to   
escape the horde of girls. "I hate fan girls!" Cloud gave a girly shriek and nearly burst into tears.   
  
"TIFA!!!"  
  
The two slammed on the breaks and faced down a new threat. A huge group of fan boys each sporting a shirt that read   
'Tifa, the Ultimate Fantasy!'   
  
"We love you Tifa!"  
  
"We love you Cloud!"  
  
Tifa and Cloud turned and ran down another street trying to get away from the growing mob of fans.   
  
"Why don't you use your limit breaks of them," Tifa asked still running.  
  
"Don't you think I tried that," Cloud complained. "The ring leader stole my sword!" Tears welled in Cloud's eyes at the   
loss of his sword. "Why don't you use your limit breaks on them?"  
  
"And get into close contact with those hentai obsessed fan boys? I don't think so! Maybe we should enlist some help,"   
Tifa said dodging a rather fast fan boy.   
  
"I'll call Rufus. You call Sephiroth," Cloud instructed nearly tripping over a box of fruit.  
  
Cloud and Tifa whipped out their PHS and dialed the respected number for the respected, yea right respected…uh   
huh, villains.  
  
"Rufus! We need some help," Cloud yelled.  
  
"I have my hands busy at the moment," Rufus could be heard yelling.  
  
"Get back here!"  
  
"Is that Casey Crystal™ I hear," Cloud asked.  
  
"SAVE ME!!!" Rufus phone went dead.  
  
"Sephiroth…"  
  
"Hello you have reached the answering machine of Sephiroth. If you need a villain call Kuja, that Sephiroth wannabe, I'm   
on vacation. If this is AVALANCHE I'll schedule your murder into my planner. If this is Cloud, poker's off for the week. If this is Tifa,   
[cat call] I'll get back to you. If this is a fan girl, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! If this is Zack or Aerith…why are you calling me? You're dead   
accept it. Anybody else leaves a message."   
  
"Man that man likes to talk a lot," Tifa muttered tossing her PHS over her shoulder. Three fan boys began to attack each other with   
sporks trying to get the PHS.   
  
"Guess we handle this on our own," Tifa told Cloud, who burst into tears.  
  
"You gotta save me Tifa," Cloud shrieked grabbing onto her arm. He yanked on her arm and pulled her off her feet. They landed   
in a large mess of tangled arms and legs on the ground. The fan girls and boys instantly pounced.   
  
"Are you happy now?" Tifa was being carried over the head of the group of fan boys who were dragging her back to their   
headquarters in hopes of becoming her love slaves.   
  
The only sound that could be heard for the group of fan girls was Cloud's girly screams.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Aurthor's Note: Ah here it is...the 10 minute fanfic. That's right ladies and gentlemen, this story took me a whole 10 minutes  
to write. I did it to regain my sanity which is slowly slipping away under the threat of Senior Venture, a horrible paper  
English teacher make you write at my HS. I dedicate this to every fan boy and girl. Kinda short...but it was written in under  
or around 10 minutes. Gimme reviews or I'll sick fan girls and boys on you, bwahahahahaha! Thanks again to Casey  
Crystal for letting me use her name (w/out permission, I really should ask next time, but I'm too lazy) and for her not freaking  
out. Review and flames are welcome. Remember....10 minute fic, it was gonna be wierd. 


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